


What Yields The Need

by Z_is_Me



Series: We On That Star Trek Shit [1]
Category: Star Trek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Starship Enterprise (Star Trek), Virus, spirk is canon and no one can tell me anything but
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28003029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Z_is_Me/pseuds/Z_is_Me
Summary: The bridge was eerily quiet, save for the rings and ticks of the equipment around them. There was a faint echo of the usual chatter that occupied it though it felt more like a distant memory at this point. Time dragged on with its broken legs across shag flooring. The anger Jim felt with this situation was both hard to define and somehow tangible. He could place the subject of his anger just fine, but the kerosene that kept it alight seemed nowhere in sight. He knew he shouldn't be angry, but reason seemed clouded ever since Spock mentioned Asa.He didn’t say much about the details of their relationship, or her in general. The bits and pieces he did share were only vital in true context, something he did not have. It wasn’t jealousy, that he was sure of. He hadn’t known Spock when he was a child, so he had no right to feel that way. Maybe it was simply gnawing curiosity, picking away at him until it was almost unbearable.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, Spock & Original Character
Series: We On That Star Trek Shit [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051010
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	What Yields The Need

Times were hard. It was no secret among the crew members of the Enterprise. After a poorly planned excursion of the planet SARS-nCov, an immense margin of the crew had been infected with an alien virus that, though was not deadly, required a substantial amount of isolation to prevent its spread. Few remained among the many. The current state of the Enterprise, with its barren hallways and abandoned sleeping quarters, was alarming, to say the least. There were barely enough people aboard to run the ship. Bones was the only medical officer remaining in the sickbay, and Scotty was scooting by with just two others at his side in the engine room. Only Kirk, Spock, and Uhura occupied the bridge. Everyone knew that they may need to return home, or at least dock until they could get more hands-on deck. Everyone accepted it as the only viable option. Well… almost everyone. 

“No,” Jim said firmly, standing at the head up the oval table, “We’re not docking. We are so close to completing this mission. If we dock now who knows how far we’ll be set back.” 

“But at what cost,” Scotty contended, “We are barely keeping the ship alive as it is. What if there’s an attack? We won’t have enough hands to deal.” 

Bones sighed in his place across from Scotty, “Jim, he’s right. I’m sorry, but he is. If we dock-in now, we can gather some workers until the others return from isolation.” 

“You know how long those temporary recruitments take. By the time we set out with an approved and capable team, we’ll end up having to land again to relieve them,” Jim argued, sitting down in the chair, squeezing his hands together till the skin went white. 

Scotty glanced at Spock. The Commander had remained mostly silent during the duration of the meeting. His brow slightly furrowed and his eyes holding a sharp glare. His usual thinking face. “What do you think, Commander?” 

Spock looked up, attention grasped. He was unfairly collected despite having to run a whole sect of the bridge by himself. 

“Yeah, you’ve been awfully quiet, Spock.” It had more bite than the Captain intended. He knew he was being an asshole and would need to apologize later. For now, though, his team and his boyfriend were going to have to deal with this side of him. Just until the storm passed. 

Spock remained silent still, and though he was looking in Jim’s direction, he was staring right through the human. Kirk had seen the look before. It had many forms, many connotations. Most of the time, right after sex, though there was usually fondness in his features then. There was not a hint of that currently, though. No, instead, Spock looked like he was fighting with himself. Like he was lost and trying to escape his own mind. 

“We are going to fail,” Spock said suddenly. Every eye was on him now, all holding some sort of desperation. “We’re going to fail if we do not acquire some assistance. I agree with Dr. McCoy.”

The Captain’s eyes widened, but a part of him already expected that answer, “Spock.”

“It’s the most logical thing to do. We should dock at the Vers-2Da,” he replied, seeming to displace Kirk’s reaction. 

“Why not Fervsa-11. It’s much closer,” Scotty says, but Spock didn’t appear to register that either. He instead stood and made way for the turbolift. 

“I have acquaintances who can fasten the process.” The doors slid open and Spock entered, not turning around until the doors were almost closed. In a brief moment, Kirk caught an oddity in Spock’s expression. One seen only in the direst of moments, when the world around them was ablaze and smoke worn. When the risk of losing the other was dangerously high, he had seen it. Fear. 

“Kirk,” Bones said.

Jim couldn’t tear his gaze away from the turbolift, couldn’t forget the fear that twitched at his lover’s face. All that Jim could do was agree, “We’ll stop at Vers-2Da. Return to your posts.” 

\-- --

Jim found Spock in their quarters, staring out the window into the depths of space, that lost look still plastered on him. He was sat straight in a chair, fingers absently stroking his chin. Kirk took a seat across from him. He still hadn’t gathered the other’s attention.

“Spock,” the Captain said quietly. Anything above a whisper seemed inappropriate for right now. Anything blatant needed to be thrown out, set to fire, and care put in its place. 

Spock did not look at him, but he could feel the tension seep from him slightly through their bond, watching his lover’s shoulders sink downward and his fingers cease their movements. “You would’ve liked her,” Spock said, and Jim’s brow twitched with confusion. 

“Who?”

“Asa. You two were similar in your drive and efficiency,” he said and Jim could feel him reminiscing upon a distant memory. The familiar warmth blossoming beautifully. 

He sat forward, intertwining his hand with Spock’s so he could run his thumb over the top of it. “Where is she now?” Jim asked. 

“Dead, with the other Vulcans I assume,” he answered, but Jim caught the twinge of hope in his voice, no matter how much the other would deny its existence.

“You think she still may be alive,” it was not a question, but more of confirmation from Jim to Spock. He knew Spock preferred to be confirmed in their discussions, especially when dealing with delicate matters. 

“Her father was an Earthman and he often brought her on excursions to other planets,” he whispered, trying to hide the rasp in his voice, “He wanted her to be experienced and knowledgeable.”

Jim’s eyes drifted from the frown sagging his face, to the hand embracing his own, “Was she with him when your planet was destroyed?”

“Supposed to be,” Spock said, almost dreamily, “They were going to Vers-2Da. Their departure was set for eight-hundred hours.”

Silence fell; Spock gazed out the window and Kirk watched him; electric blue eyes, that Jim could get lost in, reflecting the stars. The Commander was thinking. About what, the Captain did not know. He’d never stayed silent this long, especially when tension was looming between them. He was upfront and blatant and always brought the issues to light to avoid them affecting the task at hand. 

“Asa lived two homes down. Her mother and mine often met,” Spock whispered.

Jim - ignoring the randomness of the statement - nodded along, interested, and fully aware, “She was both human and Vulcan, then?” 

“Yes,” he replied, “We would talk occasionally when our emotions would get the better of us.”

“She was your friend.”

“I don’t know.”

Jim gave an odd look, but Spock did not elaborate. He simply moved closer to Kirk, bending himself over the table. Their lips met in a calm, languid kiss. The Captain felt the hard press of the Vulcan’s tongue as he tried to deepen it. He did not allow it though. He kept their rhythm gentle, brushing his hands against Spock’s cheeks. It was only until he heard it:

“Please.”

Spock keened, high pitched and fringing on that of whine. Jim deepened the kiss, gripping the back of the other’s head and thrusting his tongue deep into his mouth. It was avoidance, sure, and maybe it was a terrible thing to allow in this context. But, denying the love of his life relief is even more terrible, is it not? 

\-- --

The bridge was eerily quiet, save for the rings and ticks of the equipment around them. There was a faint echo of the usual chatter that occupied it though it felt more like a distant memory at this point. Time dragged on with its broken legs across shag flooring. The anger Jim felt with this situation was both hard to define and somehow tangible. He could place the subject of his anger just fine, but the kerosene that kept it alight seemed nowhere in sight. He knew he should be angry, but reason seemed clouded ever since Spock mentioned Asa. 

He didn’t say much about the details of their relationship, or her in general. The bits and pieces he did share were only vital in true context, something he did not have. It wasn’t jealousy, that he was sure of. He hadn’t known Spock when he was a child, so he had no right to feel that way. Maybe it was simply gnawing curiosity, picking away at him until it was almost unbearable. 

This state of his did not go unnoticed of course. Jim had caught Spock’s occasional glances, although they were over the shoulder, basic check-ins that lacked intimacy and projected efficiency. He felt Jim’s turmoil, the bond wouldn't allow him to hide it. 

“Captain,” Spock says, swiveling round to face him, “We are on course to dock at Vers-2Da.”

The anticipation flowed from him in waves, almost undetectable through their bond, as he spoke. He was holding back, something he rarely did since he and Jim began their relationship. Spock was excited, internally at least, and while he enjoyed seeing his lover content, Jim had a hard time not finding it odd. Company improving state was something the Captain was aware of. But, as a child, Spock made sure to withdraw his emotions. He did not accept company nor companionship. The Vulcan had told Jim himself, at the beginning of their relationship. So, why did this girl, Asa, hold so much of him? Why did she conjure such emotions - ones Jim worked years for, tearing down walls to get to, with only - memories? 

“Thank you, Commander Spock,” he says, standing from the captain’s chair and entering the turbolift. 

The sickbay was empty, something that should relieve Jim more than it discomforts him. He found Bones sat on a metal stool, focused intently on the screen of a scanner. It was most likely the data from SARS-nCov. The doctor had been working assiduously trying to find a cure for the virus. The task was proving difficult, especially since he was the only officer on the bay. 

“How’s it going?” Jim asks, peering over the man’s shoulder before sitting across from him. 

Bones pushed a button, eliciting a series of dials and beeps. Several stats flash onto the screen and he’s quick to copy them down onto the tablet at his side. “I’m single-handedly trying to produce a vaccine for a disease that still doesn’t have a name or a proper origin,” He responds dryly. 

“Sounds fun,” Jim raises his brows, watching as Bones’ shoulders shake with a chuckle.

“Oh, it’s invigorating,” Bones returns, as he takes the tablet over to one of the computer banks. 

Jim taps his fingers against the table, feeling the cool metal against his fingertips. He has a reason for coming down here, but a part of him is resisting. Opening up to Bones was never hard. He trusted the man with his life, and that trust had never been used for his own gain. Though this topic felt far too intimate, even for them. 

“Jim,” the doctor says, “Did you come down here to talk or to watch me work?”

The Captain palms at the back of his neck. His laugh is sad, and he can feel his legs twitching with discomfort. “You and Spock talk right?” Jim says, breathless all of the sudden. 

Bones gives him an odd look, “If by talk you mean passive-aggressively insult each other. Then yes, we talk.” 

“Come on, seriously,” Jim says, rolling his eyes. 

“I was being serious. Spock and I do not talk,” he paused for a moment, "But, you already know that." Bones approached him, the task at hand completely forgotten. He knew. Jim could see it on his face. "He's not telling you something, isn't he?"

"It's nothing major," Jim shrugged, though he could barely convince himself. 

"You're telling me, Jim, so yes. It's something major," the doctor sat across from him, wordlessly prompting him to speak. 

The Captain sighed, "It's Vers-2Da. He's looking for someone there."

"Who?" There was some curiosity in the doctor’s voice. 

"A girl he knew on Vulcan, named Asa," he stared at his hands, enthralled suddenly.

Bones' brow twitched as he thought, "Wouldn't she be dead?"

"Apparently, she was supposed to be on Vers-2Da when the planet was destroyed," he replied, "Her dad was a human."

"What?" Bones said, too loudly for Jim's liking. He gave an apologetic glance before continuing, "Another Human-Vulcan hybrid? How come Spock never said anything?"

"I don't know. That's why I came to you, to see if maybe you knew something."

"Sorry Jim," the doctor shrugged standing from the stool and moving back to the computer bank, "Spock and I don't talk about that sort of stuff. But, if we do find this Asa, I would like to run some tests."

"Why?"

"To get a baseline for your boyfriend. 228 beats-per-minute can not be normal, even for a Vulcan," Bones said blatantly, and Jim couldn't help but snicker. 

The intercom came to life with a shrill, fuzzy sounding beep. "Captain," Spock's voice came through, deepened slightly through the machine, "We are approaching Vers-2Da."

Jim spoke into the com, "Bones and I will be right up."

The channel went dead, and silence filled the medbay. Though, the doctor was quick to fill it. He never liked the quiet. They were similar in that way. He eyed the Captain carefully, "You ready?" 

Jim shook his head, "As I'll ever be."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Consider leaving a comment and kudos.  
> Have a good day and stay safe.


End file.
